3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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