If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
