Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
