i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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