You're my little dorito
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
