im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
