Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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