Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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