I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just threw up on my dentist
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize