whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
