WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
