i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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