My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
