I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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