im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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