Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
