5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
