im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
