He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
