New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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