ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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