She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
