her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
