There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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