You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
