My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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