i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
