11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
