'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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