Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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