i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
