I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
