ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
