I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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