Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I had to cum in my sink.
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