Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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