What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
