Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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