My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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