So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
