TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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