Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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