Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize