You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
