I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
