just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I came so hard my ears popped.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
