i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
