Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize