I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize