I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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