people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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