So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
