So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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