So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I want a musical about memes.
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